PDA

View Full Version : Treating People



Repr1se
08-02-2015, 09:38 PM
This past year I have spoken to only three people regularly. Nothing more than a "Hello, how are you." I've decided to go out and make some friends, both in real life and online. I'm an extreme introvert so this is a challenge. I did manage to meet some people. I was being myself, being kind and being proactive (or at least, trying to the best I can). I've talked to them and done some favors for them, and vice versa.

Now I'm getting a "peace out" from some people, one being very important to me. From what I've collected, I've been too friendly. I was clingy and wanted something out of my friends, apparently -- but that wasn't my intention. Rather it was to spend time with some friends, get to know them and share things about myself, et cetera. I didn't know kindness would turn out this way.

Does kindness really go to waste? Does doing favors really mean I want something? I'm totally socially inapt so I don't know these things, but one thing's for sure: I hate myself for trying to be with people. This isn't the first time this has happened. I'd have better luck befriending a tree than a human.

What are your thoughts on this?

BhastetKurza
08-03-2015, 06:53 AM
Kindness will never go to waste.

As someone who has been burdened with a kind and unselfish heart, all of the kindness that I have shown to others has been shown back to me in one form or another. People have taken good care of me over the years in a similar fashion as I have to others.

Kindness is it's own reward so long as you are doing it for the sake of kindness and not your own.

Don't let your kindness go and don't let anyone take it away from you.

You will be rewarded when the time is right. I always was and there are no exceptions.

Najh98
08-03-2015, 08:20 AM
Even if you are kind to other people, they will still treat you that way. Some people might want to be friends, or take pity on you and act nice to you, when in reality, they don't want to be near you.

magikod
08-03-2015, 05:49 PM
Even if you are kind to other people, they will still treat you that way. Some people might want to be friends, or take pity on you and act nice to you, when in reality, they don't want to be near you.

Sad, but true.

EmmaMye
08-04-2015, 04:41 AM
Kindness does not go to waste unless you waste it on the wrong people. Also, being an introverts probably means you're bad at being clingy, no offence. But hey, if you wanna play, hit me up.

SirRobierto
08-04-2015, 03:16 PM
No.....I don't think kindness goes to waste. It may seem like it does, because there can be no tangible, immediate rewards. Sometimes there are. I was brought up to be kind to others....and that's what I'm trying to teach my kids.

SirRobierto
08-04-2015, 03:17 PM
Even if you are kind to other people, they will still treat you that way. Some people might want to be friends, or take pity on you and act nice to you, when in reality, they don't want to be near you.

Good way to put it. And some friends want to be friends when it's convenient for them. So that begs the question.....are they really friends?

SirRobierto
08-04-2015, 03:19 PM
Kindness does not go to waste unless you waste it on the wrong people.

OMG Emma.....nailed it!

Repr1se
08-05-2015, 03:50 PM
Kindness does not go to waste unless you waste it on the wrong people. Also, being an introverts probably means you're bad at being clingy, no offence. But hey, if you wanna play, hit me up.
You have a point. I should probably be more careful who I'm with, in that case.

No.....I don't think kindness goes to waste. It may seem like it does, because there can be no tangible, immediate rewards. Sometimes there are. I was brought up to be kind to others....and that's what I'm trying to teach my kids.
It's a rude world out there.

Good way to put it. And some friends want to be friends when it's convenient for them. So that begs the question.....are they really friends?
Doubt it. If it's convenient, then it means they do it for some reward, immediate or long term.

Thanks for the responses everyone. Feel free to keep discussing if you'd like.

EmmaMye
08-06-2015, 10:46 AM
Kindness does not go to waste unless you waste it on the wrong people. Also, being an introverts probably means you're bad at being clingy, no offence. But hey, if you wanna play, hit me up.


You have a point. I should probably be more careful who I'm with, in that case.

Well, you don't exactly have to be looking out for who you're with, just be a better judge of character. Not saying that you aren't that already, I don't know you.

RippleApple
08-06-2015, 04:30 PM
You can be the greatest judge of character in the world, but people will still stab you in the back if you show your weak spots to them. The key is to grow a thick skin so you don't care as much about it.

EmmaMye
08-06-2015, 04:39 PM
You can be the greatest judge of character in the world, but people will still stab you in the back if you show your weak spots to them. The key is to grow a thick skin so you don't care as much about it.

Well said. Trust no one.

KingScuba
08-06-2015, 08:51 PM
my suggestion is to simply be upfront with someone. You obviously lack some social skills, so tell your friends "Hey, I'm not sure where the boundaries are, so if I cross them accidentally, please tell me." kind of thing. Just be honest and straightforward about it, and it'll turn out well enough.

Najh98
08-07-2015, 08:21 AM
my suggestion is to simply be upfront with someone. You obviously lack some social skills, so tell your friends "Hey, I'm not sure where the boundaries are, so if I cross them accidentally, please tell me." kind of thing. Just be honest and straightforward about it, and it'll turn out well enough.

Or, don't have any friends and put walls up. That way, you don't have to worry about anyone and how they'll treat you. Everyone are aholes.

SplishySplashy
08-07-2015, 04:57 PM
Or, don't have any friends and put walls up. That way, you don't have to worry about anyone and how they'll treat you. Everyone are aholes.

Currently at my College, there are people who I supposedly call 'friends' when in fact, I don't even class some like that.

I literally only have 3 friends, and hang out with 15 people.

I only trust my Mother, Father, and sister. No one else. Being hurt in your past makes you wiser for the future.